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Having a baby is an important event in your family. But after your first child is born, your excitement over the next pregnancy may not be shared by everyone. Your first-born child may feel a little anxious over their future little brother or sister. If these feelings are not confronted and discussed, your child's feelings of anxiety could easily turn to feelings of resentment.
Older children have many reasons for worrying about a new baby. Usually they feel that they will be pushed aside or ignored. They are afraid that they won't be needed or wanted any longer once the new baby arrives. They see how everyone around them is excited about the new baby and feel left out. Maybe it seems to them that the new baby is always the main topic of discussion.
Siblings that become insecure of the new baby can act out in several ways. Many seem to revert back to infancy. They will have "accidents," speak baby talk, have temper tantrums, or want something they haven't needed since they were younger. They might also want constant attention like being carried or wanting to sleep with their parents. There is nothing wrong with your child acting this way. He or she is simply acting on their own fear and apprehension.
There are many things you can do to help your child cope with a new baby. Some of these ideas will work on your child and some will not. Try each one until you find what works. Once the new baby is born, the older child will realize that they are still getting plenty of attention and possible even more than before!
PARTICIPATION
-Let your older child get involved in the planning process. Ask them for ideas on baby names, room decorations, toys, etc...Maybe even give them a part of the baby's room to decorate on their own.
-Instead of saying, "you're too young," find a positive response and then give them something they can do.
-Have the older children help out with the baby's daily needs. They could fold the baby's clothes, get a diaper when needed, pat the baby's back after feeding and read to the baby.
OUR BABY
-Let it be known that the new baby belongs to everyone in the family. This way, everyone will want to care for him or her. Use phrases like, "our baby" and "your baby."
ATTENTION
-Make sure that you set aside some time to spend just with your older child. Have some special gifts ready for when guests arrive with gifts for the baby.
Give your older child plenty of love and assurance and bringing home the new baby will be a wonderful experience for everyone!
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